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It's that time of year again, when that freight train known as Saint Valentine's Day is racing down the tracks to either carry you to your romantic destination or flatten you like a sad, loveless pancake.
But don't you worry. I'm here to help with some awesome tips to make your 14th of February feel like the Fourth of July.
(1) SET THE MOOD: Everyone loves a surprise, so I recommend arriving at least two hours early to pick up your date. Chocolates are a must, but also get some for your date. That just makes sense.
(2) LIVE IN THE MOMENT: Stay away from tired routines. Sure, you might have a favorite spot where the food is always "good" and they take reservations. But you never know what you might be in the mood for, so make a game-time decision and impress your lovely lady or handsome beau with your spontaneity.
(3) BE GENEROUS: If your suitor tries to take a bite off your plate, don't growl and use your hand as a shield. That's not romantic. Try to share with a smile.
(4) KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE: If you're going to write and perform an original love song, make sure it's the right musical genre for your mate. A ballad may touch some hearts while dubstep might break through to others. Also, be sure to soundcheck your amp in advance. When you're performing an original rockabilly love song in a French restaurant, nothing is more embarrassing than feedback on your microphone.
(5) READ THE SIGNALS: Should you part with a kiss, a spirited embrace or a firm but loving handshake? You're going to want to watch your date like a hawk the entire night to read her or his body language and pick up on every signal being sent. Try to blink as little as possible.
That's it! Follow these simple tips, and I guarantee you will have a night you will never ever forget. Okay, enough talk. Love is in the air, and I have doves to train.
Catch you on the flip side,